Frontline Supervisor

Q. What is the difference between using the EAP as an alternative to discipline versus as a substitute for discipline?

A. Using the EAP as an alternative to discipline means the supervisor has a legitimate basis for disciplinary action but offers the employee an opportunity to use the EAP instead, consistent with organizational policy. The employee understands that continued performance problems may result in disciplinary action. This approach preserves accountability while offering help. Using the EAP as a substitute for discipline is different. It means making an EAP referral simply because the supervisor is reluctant to take warranted disciplinary action. This can confuse the employee about the EAP’s purpose and turn a helping resource into what appears to be a disciplinary tool. It may also weaken the employee’s motivation to address the performance problem. The key distinction is that an EAP referral does not remove the supervisor’s responsibility to manage performance. When appropriate, the EAP offers the employee an opportunity to address personal problems that may be contributing to performance difficulties, while the supervisor remains focused on acceptable job performance.

Q. An employee reported that a coworker is using a company vehicle and company time to travel out of state to gamble on horse races. I was already investigating the coworker’s unexplained absences but was unaware of this activity. How should I handle the new information?

A. Treat the coworker’s report as information requiring appropriate followup, not as established fact. This should be in consultation with appropriate management or your human resources representative. Continue documenting the absences and other performance or conduct issues you can independently verify. Avoid confronting the employee with the allegation until your human resources advisor and manager decide on an approach. The reported misuse of company time and a company vehicle raises separate policy and risk concerns. Avoid focusing on whether the employee has a gambling problem; diagnosing and confronting this problem is not your role. Simply stay focused on workplace conduct and violations that can be established. During the investigation, your employee may step forward to confirm misconduct and a gambling problem. If so, follow your organization’s procedures and consider an EAP referral. Also protect the reporting employee’s confidentiality to the extent possible. Discourage workplace discussion—likely to occur when investigations and severe problems like this emerge at work—of your employee’s issues or circumstances.

Q. I referred two employees to the EAP because of ongoing conflict. I realize that my missteps in managing these workers may have allowed their relationship to worsen. What are the most common mistakes supervisors make when dealing with employees who can’t get along?

A. Some common missteps in managing two warring employees include trying to get them to make up and become friends, treating their conflict as If it were a playground squabble. Adult workplace conflicts are usually not amenable to quick reconciliation attempts or superficial approaches aimed at getting employees to like each other. Another misstep is becoming a “couples counselor,” thinking that if only the real issue can be uncovered or a determination can be made about who is at fault, the conflict will disappear. Supervisors who play this role can drift into counseling dynamics that include analyzing personalities or repeatedly helping employees process each other’s feelings. Another misstep is taking sides because one employee is more persuasive or likable. Finally, avoid viewing the EAP as a “fixer” that will end the conflict for good. The bottom line: What motivates employees most to resolve conflicts are the supervisor’s unwavering, believable resolve to no longer tolerate them and clear management expectations that they must end.

Q. One of my employees has been verbally abused by a customer, and she is pretty shaken up. I think she’ll get over it. It happens to all of us periodically, but what are some tips for responding and deciding whether to encourage her to contact the EAP?

A. After an abusive incident, be sure not to minimize or generalize the experience with your employee, but instead provide a private, supportive environment to talk about what happened. It’s the best first step in the healing experience. Most employees, especially those who are concerned, thoughtful, and enjoy their job, will experience an acute stress reaction: feelings of shock, anxiety and anger, and maybe later difficulty concentrating; intrusive thoughts about the incident; or even sleep disruption. These are normal symptoms of recovery, so don’t minimize or rush the process. Also, these symptoms don’t mean an EAP referral is a must, but encourage the program’s use to help the worker feel supported. Past trauma—or historical negative interactions with customers or other people—can often surface and make overcoming a negative event of this kind an extra challenge. If adverse reactions persist or begin to interfere with the employee’s ability to function, then a more direct approach to EAP referral would be indicated.

Q. I have a young employee with great ideas and initiative, but he lacks organizational awareness. Recently, he took an idea directly to our vice president without telling me or my director, making us look uninformed. How do I correct this without discouraging his initiative? Could the EAP help?

A. This is not an uncommon problem among younger employees, so see this as a development problem. Organizational awareness is a learned skill. Your being caught off guard or critiqued by next-level management is irritating, but you should still validate your employee’s initiative and creativity. Make it clear that these qualities are valued but working relationships can be undermined when protocol isn’t followed. Most employees are shocked to hear this feedback, especially after feeling positive about their initiative, but it’s an important lesson. Don’t mention office politics or “how things work around here,” because the feedback is important beyond any other circumstances. Simply ask that the employee come to you first before taking matters further. Explain how others need to be consulted and under what circumstances communicating directly with senior management is appropriate. EA professionals help employees examine workplace communication, so if this continues be an issue, talk to the EAP about how it can help.

^{FrontLine Supervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any individual, supervisory, or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional.  ©2026 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.}

Q. I've always considered myself a driven, hardworking supervisor. Sometimes people kid or joke about it, but I really like what I do. I’ll admit for the first time that lately I wonder if I've crossed into burnout territory. How can I tell the difference?

A. There is not much to worry about if being driven feels energizing. You may have tiring days or even feel exhausted, but if you still find work meaningful and rest restores you, then congratulations. You aren’t immune to burnout, however, which is a recognized occupational hazard. Burnout feels depleting to the extent that your effort no longer produces a sense of accomplishment or renewal. You don’t experience feeling rejuvenated by sleep or being off work for a couple of days. Right now, you get up energized and ready to roll, but if you were burning out, you’d begin losing this urgency and it would be increasingly replaced by dread. As a manager, you are wise to track burnout. Recent studies show 71% of middle managers report burnout, the highest of any group. (See high5test.com/leadership burnout-statistics.) Burnout is treatable, and your EAP is the perfect source for help. You may not be feeling burned out but check in with them to learn more and gain more preventive knowledge.

Q. I feel like I spend half my day managing communication — email, Slack, texts, calls — instead of getting any work done. Is there a better app out there? I'm not alone with this complaint. I also think it's getting worse, and I fear it will be a health issue some day. What's the answer?

A. I've always considered myself a driven, hardworking supervisor. Sometimes people kid or joke about it, but I really like what I do. I’ll admit for the first time that lately I wonder if I've crossed into burnout territory. How can I tell the difference?  ◼ There is not much to worry about if being driven feels energizing. You may have tiring days or even feel exhausted, but if you still find work meaningful and rest restores you, then congratulations. You aren’t immune to burnout, however, which is a recognized occupational hazard. Burnout feels depleting to the extent that your effort no longer produces a sense of accomplishment or renewal. You don’t experience feeling rejuvenated by sleep or being off work for a couple of days. Right now, you get up energized and ready to roll, but if you were burning out, you’d begin losing this urgency and it would be increasingly replaced by dread. As a manager, you are wise to track burnout. Recent studies show 71% of middle managers report burnout, the highest of any group. (See high5test.com/leadership burnout-statistics.) Burnout is treatable, and your EAP is the perfect source for help. You may not be feeling burned out but check in with them to learn more and gain more preventive knowledge.

Q. One of my employees seems distracted and on edge lately, and I found out from others it's because her child is being bullied at school. Is this something I should be involved in?

A. Do not involve yourself directly. Many problems, even this one, can be multifaceted and involve issues you cannot examine or exclude. The bullying concern may be real, or it may be a distraction from performance issues unrelated to the presenting problem. This is another example of avoiding “armchair diagnostic” thinking. Employee assistance professionals often assess employees with one apparent problem affecting job performance only to discover a more serious underlying issue no one Considered. This is the hazard of accepting first- or secondhand reports and explanations for performance decline. Proceed as follows: Document what you can measure or clearly articulate in objective terms. This might include distractions, missed deadlines, or frequent absences. You can be compassionate while responding as you would with any personal stressor affecting performance. Mention that the EAP is available and confidential. Recommend she seek support. If issues continue, make the referral formal and include documentation shared with the EAP.

Q. One of my employees goes to the restroom at least 20 times a day. I know my job is to document the behavior, discuss any performance issues, and refer her to the EAP if appropriate. But out of curiosity, what kinds of problems could possibly explain this behavior?

A. Your question gives an opportunity to demonstrate how wide the range of possibilities really is for a situation like this one and how it's nearly impossible for an outside observer to guess what's going on. Jumping to conclusions is natural, and peers or managers often gravitate toward the worst-case explanation first. Conceivably this behavior could reflect an undisclosed medical condition — diabetes, a bladder or a gastrointestinal issue, or medication side effects. It could point to an eating disorder involving purging. It could involve substance use, prescription or illicit. It could be anxiety, since frequent bathroom trips are a common response to stress. Or it could be something mundane, like personal calls or avoiding work. That breadth is the point; no explanation is more likely than the others without more information, which is why speculation isn't useful and diagnosis isn't a supervisor's job. And here's another point: You may never know.

Q. I have a tough referral coming up — an employee with a history of anger issues, and honestly, I'm a little afraid of how he'll react. I’m talking to the EAP first because I want to handle this the right way. Does this show my inexperience, or is this a good idea for any supervisor?

A. Good call. The underlying principle is this: A supervisor who appears confident and supportive is less likely to trigger a defensive reaction than one who seems uncertain or apologetic, especially in a difficult case involving an employee prone to anger or potential workplace violence. Calling the EAP before the meeting is a solid plan. Describe the situation in detail — the employee's history, your concerns, and what you fear might happen — and ask for guidance on framing the referral. This consultation is confidential and does not require the employee's involvement. EAPs exist as consultative resources for situations like this. Going in with a plan changes how you show up. Employees notice hesitation, and uncertainty can be interpreted as suspicion or accusation, increasing tension. Although there is no history of violence, consider EAP and Human Resources guidance on safety precautions, who should attend, and how to structure the meeting.

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^{FrontLine Supervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any individual, supervisory, or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional.  ©2026 DFA}

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