This is an ongoing content series on the current EAN website. We have set it up again here so you can continue to use it (if you like.)
Q. My employee exhibits behaviors that trouble me. For example, she’s ignoring deadlines, forgetting what I asked her to do, and not responding to emails. She’s a strong worker, so this is a difficult situation. It is some sort of defiance, but how can the EAP help me manage it? Should I just demand change?
A. Yes, the EAP can discuss with you the difficulties associated with managing this employee. Most defiance of supervisors is not overt. It is passive-aggressive—for example, her not responding to your emails or claiming forgetfulness regarding your requests. The EAP will help you identify the underlying cause of this defiance. You’ll discover it probably stems from stress, miscommunication, or some perceived unfairness. Generally, it’s not useful to demand change with a heavy-handed, drill-sergeant approach. It’s smarter to use effective communication and empathy to address these behaviors constructively. Your goal is to build trust and encourage the employee to engage with you more positively and meet expectations. This is a balanced approach, but it does not dismiss the fact that ultimately your role is to ensure accountability. Practice constructive confrontation through role-playing with the EAP. Role-playing is highly effective for cases like yours. Based on the outcome of your meeting with the employee, consider referring her to the EAP if appropriate.
Q. I’m a senior manager but also a recovering drug user who’s been totally abstinent and sober for over22 years. I am not fooled easily. I can spot subtle cues of those using drugs because of my past experiences. It’s not my job to point out these subtle cues, but how can my experience be useful in my role?
A. You’re right, you can’t diagnose and confront employees, but you do have insights that give you a level of empathy other managers may lack. However, we’re not talking about addiction necessarily, but instead the acute stress, the personal struggles, and a host of consequential problems common to a life affected by drug addiction. As a person in recovery, you can create a team environment or workplace that feels safe and supportive. When an employee’s performance problems appear, you can document and discuss these. Inquiring about the cause of them (which is manager-appropriate and not a diagnostic inquiry) may elicit the nature of a personal problem that you can refer to the EAP. It is more likely that an assessment will then identify the substance use disorder. Note that it is not unusual for those in recovery to share their stories with others in social or informal gatherings. However, be self-aware about maintaining professional boundaries by focusing only on observable behaviors and work issues in your supervisory role.
Q. How can supervisors help employees deal with anxiety, and how would managers notice this condition since we can’t diagnose mental health problems? I hear this problem has surpassed even depression as a key struggle for many workers.
A. Some surveys report that up to 30% of employees believe anxiety interferes with their productivity to some degree. Although supervisors can’t diagnose anxiety, they can play a supportive role and make it easier to get help and overcome resistance toward professional counseling. If an employee seems overwhelmed, inquire about it by saying something like, “Jim, you seem overwhelmed with all these new changes. Can I help in someway?” Also, never dismiss or discount the value of mental health services. Employees should know where you stand on the importance of support services, including the EAP. Never kid about counseling or use language like “thein-house shrink” or other terms that imply bias or stigma. A solid list of performance and behavioral symptoms that you can obtain from the EAP will alert you to documentable items that may be associated with anxiety. The best advice: Don’t think “anxiety.” Think performance, conduct, attitude, quality of work, quantity of work, attendance, and availability of the worker. By using this list, you will discover far more employees with personal issues that are interfering with work, including anxiety.
Learn more: yec.co/blog/helping-employees-deal-with-workplace-anxiety
Q. My employee tested positive for illicit drug use and subsequently was referred for treatment. She obviously was cooperative, but I heard from others that she had no intention of quitting drugs and was going to “play along to get along” to keep her job. What should I make of these statements?
A. The referral for treatment was successful. This is all that can be measured at this time. Initial statements and apparent lack of motivation aren’t predictive of whether she will be successful in treatment. More relevant will be evidence during treatment that demonstrates she is discarding mistaken beliefs, myths, and misconceptions about addictive disease in favor of accepting accurate information about the illness that is grounded in the chronic disease model of addiction. Treatment staff will also look for true self-diagnosis and the realization that sustained recovery depends on abstinence and ongoing personal accountability. This shift in understanding enables individuals to self-diagnose, build authentic motivation, and fully engage in the recovery process. Surprisingly, some of the most resistant and intellectualizing patients become the most dedicated advocates of treatment and recovery and, later, outstanding employees.
Q. Can you explain the feedback model referred to as Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI)?
A. SBI is an easy to understand and apply feedback model for supervisors developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, a global provider of leadership development and research. SBI helps ensure that when you give feedback to an employee, it is done in a clear, respectful, and effective way regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Here is the model: Situation – Be specific and give your employee the when and where a certain behavior occurred so they can recall what you are referring to. For example, “Jane, yesterday when you presented you project....” Behavior – Describe the observable action, not your interpretation. For example, “Your audiovisual projector wouldn’t function correctly.” Impact – “This created a delay in the program, causing other speakers to cut their presentations short.” The feedback ends there without judgment or assumptions. Its goal is impartiality and accuracy, but it’s been proven to have a significant impact on facilitating change or reinforcing desirable behaviors.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
Q. I suggested to one of my employees that he contact the EAP for help with a performance problem. Although he initially agreed, he appears to have changed his mind, and the issue at work remains unresolved. The EAP is highly trusted, so what would be the most likely explanation?
A. There could be many reasons for the employee’s loss of motivation. It appears that your direct conversation sparked a willingness to act, but it is also possible that he agreed in the moment just to please you and to avoid any deeper confrontation—especially if he was feeling exposed or uncomfortable with a personal problem he did not want discovered. Once the meeting ends, the motivation to follow through often fades even if it was sincere. Suggest that an employee make the call from your office when making a referral because the momentum of your discussion is fresh. It might feel awkward, but improves the chances of follow-through. It also reduces the risk of an employee’s problems getting worse, which could be costly. This phone-now approach helps overcome second thoughts, and it also helps the employee accept that using the EAP is a strength, not a weakness or cause for shame.
Q. I sense my employee has relapsed after treatment for an alcohol use disorder. I suspect it because I have gut instincts about it. This is based on my long history with him, catching him drinking, and past confrontations. How do I proceed?
A. The short answer is stay steady, neutral, and focused on workplace impact. Given your knowledge of the relapse and your history with this employee, it’s critical to take a professional approach with boundaries in mind. Even if your instincts are correct, focus only on what is verifiable. Do not confront the employee about the relapse directly unless it has impacted performance or behavior, or violated a workplace policy. Instead, contact your EAP and explain the situation. Even without an active release form, the EA professional can advise you in general terms about how to proceed. If the relapse has affected workplace conduct or performance, document those changes and address them. Discuss your observations. The EA professional will help you articulate what is quantifiable for documentation. Avoid personal commentary or raising past grievances with your employee. Let the EAP and company policies guide your next steps.
Q. I have an employee who is reportedly sabotaging others—like withholding key info, giving vague instructions, or taking credit for others’ work. I haven’t seen these behaviors personally, so how can I say something and get the benefits of confrontation without being accusatory?
A. When you haven’t personally observed the behavior, the key is to address the impact without framing it as an accusation. Focus on what you do know—specific outcomes or disruptions. Use neutral, factual language to open the conversation. For example: “I’ve heard of a few situations where teammates weren’t given complete information, and it created delays. Can you help me understand what happened?” Notice how this approach keeps your tone professional and curious rather than confrontational. Your goal is to raise awareness and give the employee a chance to explain, correct, or clarify. At the same time, take the opportunity to reinforce clear expectations around communication, collaboration, and accountability with the entire team. This is important. If the pattern continues, escalate appropriately by involving HR in guiding your next steps or initiating a performance improvement process. This early intervention approach with its focus on outcomes, not accusations, involves communicating in a concerned tone that may prevent the behavior from continuing.
Q. I am concerned about two people in our office distracting others and interfering with productivity because of their romantic relationship. How do I handle this with tact?
A. Handling this matter is important, and as you indicate, it must be done with respect and sensitivity. Your goal is to protect workplace productivity while maintaining the dignity of the couple and gaining their cooperation. Stay professional. Begin by meeting with the two employees and reminding them how important it is to maintain a professional environment—this means keeping their personal relationship separate from work. This is not something you need to negotiate, but your approach should still foster cooperation and align with the needs of the office. You’re still the supervisor, and while the issue is sensitive, it’s ultimately about behavior and conduct. Be clear in communicating boundaries and defining what you consider acceptable workplace behavior. Talk with them about ways to reduce the impact of their relationship on others in the office. After the meeting, continue to monitor their behavior, simply noting whether it stays appropriate and in line with your expectations.
Q. My employee asked to borrow $500. I did not embarrass him or act shocked, but I was. I referred him to the EAP, but I also felt fearful about whatever the crisis was that would lead him to ask me for money. Knowing he was facing something horrendous almost made me give it to him.
A. You made the right decision. Unfortunately, when an employee turns to their supervisor for a loan, it often means they’ve run out of others to turn to—family, friends, or even payday lenders. Merely asking signals a serious financial issue and is almost always related to another problem that is worse. This could be a substance use disorder, gambling, or threats from another lender to whom the employee owes money. The $500 is also likely only a part of what the employee needs, and others may still be sought to help with the larger sum actually needed. A referral to the EAP, who knows how to properly assess and discover the latent problems your employee faces, is the right support that is needed in this situation. Apart from these problems, lending money risks blurring professional boundaries, complicates your leadership role, and, at worst, could pull you into the employee’s serious personal struggles in other ways.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
