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This is an ongoing content series on the current EAN website. We have set it up again here so you can continue to use it (if you like.)
Q. Our workplace of 28 employees is a peaceful, high-morale environment. I have never seen conflict, and it simply can’t be any more ideal, but is this normal? I have always read and heard that conflict is normal and some of it is healthy.
A. You’re right that conflict is normal and can be healthy when it leads to improvements that affect people and systems for the better. Either your workplace experiences no conflicts, or it could be that conflict is avoided. A nice workplace can hide dysfunction, just like in families. This is called “false harmony.” If this is the case, conflicts may brew beneath the surface. Does your no-conflict workplace also translate to “important issues and conversations don’t happen”? In some workplaces, the culture dictates nonverbally that disagreements are not welcome. If true, then passive-aggressive behaviors often exist. It’s even possible for truth-telling to be discouraged in the false-harmony workplace. Here are some diagnostic questions: Do you create a psychologically safe environment where honesty is encouraged? Do you support healthy dissent even if it rocks the boat? More importantly, do you model these behaviors yourself? Which do you value more—surface peace or authentic engagement?
Q. I met with my team and could tell some tension existed between two employees. I ignored it because no one was complaining, but something felt off. I view issues like this as normal, and it’s up to employees to work things out on their own. Did I handle this correctly?
A. You can’t assume that silence means the issues will ultimately be resolved. Team morale often erodes not because of overt problems but because of unspoken conflicts, resentments, and lingering tension. Employees will cope with these sorts of stressors on their own, but not necessarily to the benefit of the work unit. It’s more likely that passive-aggressive behaviors will appear, and not the small stuff like refusing to say “good morning.” More likely it’s reduced collaboration, poor cooperation with deadlines, or withdrawal from the team. This affects team productivity. A better approach is to note the clues that indicate a problem, meet with employees, and ask what’s going on. Literally say, “Let’s have an honest conversation about what’s going on between you two. ”Creating this space will help resolve the problem, but ask that employees use the Assistance Program (EAP) if issues continue after your attempt to get them resolved.
Q. I learned a hard lesson the other day about giving timely feedback when I gave negative (constructive)feedback to my employee about using a sarcastic tone with a customer a week after it happened. When I finally mentioned it, the employee got very irate.
A. More should be written about giving feedback to employees after too much time has passed. Whether it’s waffling on the decision to give feedback, mulling over the right words, or suddenly feeling obligated to give feedback, delay is a huge problem. Without timely feedback, employees will usually assume everything is fine (or worse, feel as though they have done the right thing).It’s likely your employee felt ambushed under such circumstances. Here’s the key takeaway: Feedback does not have to be perfect when you give it, but give it anyway. This is the only time that details and emotions are fresh. As time passes, feedback becomes perfect when you give it, but give it anyway. This is the only time that details and emotions are fresh. As time passes, feedback becomes less useful or suspect. If you feel the need to give feedback that is delayed, role-play it with a colleague or consider meeting with the EAP. You’ll gain even more insights about communicating with employees.
Q. My employee’s dog died, and he’s been distraught. Because death of a pet can rival that of a loved one, we offered time off. Currently, I need to be assertive and get him back to work because he’s been out so long, but I am struggling with taking action.
A. You’re trying to be an empathetic supervisor, but also impose accountability. You need clear communication that supports your employee without excusing the behavior. Admittedly, this creates tension, but it is made worse because there appears to be no predetermined time limit for the leave. Setting one now may feel arbitrary, but without it, you send a message that performance expectations are secondary. Remember, even in this situation, your role isn’t to solve personal problems or whatever issues are associated with the protracted absence. The appropriate next step is to suggest contacting the EAP while requiring a date to return to work. Compassion doesn’t mean putting core responsibilities on hold. It means offering support while also keeping focus on core performance standards and your operation. Supervisors lead best when they show empathy and can uphold expectations. These two things are not in opposition to each other. They reinforce each other.
Q. Over the years I’ve noticed that employees pay more attention to what their boss does than what they say. I think more of us need to understand this reality. I don’t think most supervisors understand the great influence they have in establishing the workplace’s culture.
A. Your observation is correct, and there is research to attest to it. Howa supervisor behaves—which includes attitude and demeanor, among other behaviors—influences work culture. Supervisors must accept that what they model matters, and therefore self-awareness is crucial to the role. In the book “Trust Rules: How the World’s Best Managers Create Great Places to Work,” author Bob Lee describes “leadership drift,” a relationship dynamic that molds a work culture shaped by the supervisor’s tone, energy style, and daily demeanor. This can drift for better or worse. Employees keenly notice supervisor behaviors. This is especially true in moments of stress or frustration or during a crisis. These influences of leadership prove to be contagious and thereby influence the work culture. When supervisors suspect or notice adverse effects on their mental health, turning to the EAP for support can play a significant role in helping ensure behaviors do not adversely affect the work culture.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
Q. My employee exhibits behaviors that trouble me. For example, she’s ignoring deadlines, forgetting what I asked her to do, and not responding to emails. She’s a strong worker, so this is a difficult situation. It is some sort of defiance, but how can the EAP help me manage it? Should I just demand change?
A. Yes, the EAP can discuss with you the difficulties associated with managing this employee. Most defiance of supervisors is not overt. It is passive-aggressive—for example, her not responding to your emails or claiming forgetfulness regarding your requests. The EAP will help you identify the underlying cause of this defiance. You’ll discover it probably stems from stress, miscommunication, or some perceived unfairness. Generally, it’s not useful to demand change with a heavy-handed, drill-sergeant approach. It’s smarter to use effective communication and empathy to address these behaviors constructively. Your goal is to build trust and encourage the employee to engage with you more positively and meet expectations. This is a balanced approach, but it does not dismiss the fact that ultimately your role is to ensure accountability. Practice constructive confrontation through role-playing with the EAP. Role-playing is highly effective for cases like yours. Based on the outcome of your meeting with the employee, consider referring her to the EAP if appropriate.
Q. I’m a senior manager but also a recovering drug user who’s been totally abstinent and sober for over22 years. I am not fooled easily. I can spot subtle cues of those using drugs because of my past experiences. It’s not my job to point out these subtle cues, but how can my experience be useful in my role?
A. You’re right, you can’t diagnose and confront employees, but you do have insights that give you a level of empathy other managers may lack. However, we’re not talking about addiction necessarily, but instead the acute stress, the personal struggles, and a host of consequential problems common to a life affected by drug addiction. As a person in recovery, you can create a team environment or workplace that feels safe and supportive. When an employee’s performance problems appear, you can document and discuss these. Inquiring about the cause of them (which is manager-appropriate and not a diagnostic inquiry) may elicit the nature of a personal problem that you can refer to the EAP. It is more likely that an assessment will then identify the substance use disorder. Note that it is not unusual for those in recovery to share their stories with others in social or informal gatherings. However, be self-aware about maintaining professional boundaries by focusing only on observable behaviors and work issues in your supervisory role.
Q. How can supervisors help employees deal with anxiety, and how would managers notice this condition since we can’t diagnose mental health problems? I hear this problem has surpassed even depression as a key struggle for many workers.
A. Some surveys report that up to 30% of employees believe anxiety interferes with their productivity to some degree. Although supervisors can’t diagnose anxiety, they can play a supportive role and make it easier to get help and overcome resistance toward professional counseling. If an employee seems overwhelmed, inquire about it by saying something like, “Jim, you seem overwhelmed with all these new changes. Can I help in someway?” Also, never dismiss or discount the value of mental health services. Employees should know where you stand on the importance of support services, including the EAP. Never kid about counseling or use language like “thein-house shrink” or other terms that imply bias or stigma. A solid list of performance and behavioral symptoms that you can obtain from the EAP will alert you to documentable items that may be associated with anxiety. The best advice: Don’t think “anxiety.” Think performance, conduct, attitude, quality of work, quantity of work, attendance, and availability of the worker. By using this list, you will discover far more employees with personal issues that are interfering with work, including anxiety.
Learn more: yec.co/blog/helping-employees-deal-with-workplace-anxiety
Q. My employee tested positive for illicit drug use and subsequently was referred for treatment. She obviously was cooperative, but I heard from others that she had no intention of quitting drugs and was going to “play along to get along” to keep her job. What should I make of these statements?
A. The referral for treatment was successful. This is all that can be measured at this time. Initial statements and apparent lack of motivation aren’t predictive of whether she will be successful in treatment. More relevant will be evidence during treatment that demonstrates she is discarding mistaken beliefs, myths, and misconceptions about addictive disease in favor of accepting accurate information about the illness that is grounded in the chronic disease model of addiction. Treatment staff will also look for true self-diagnosis and the realization that sustained recovery depends on abstinence and ongoing personal accountability. This shift in understanding enables individuals to self-diagnose, build authentic motivation, and fully engage in the recovery process. Surprisingly, some of the most resistant and intellectualizing patients become the most dedicated advocates of treatment and recovery and, later, outstanding employees.
Q. Can you explain the feedback model referred to as Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI)?
A. SBI is an easy to understand and apply feedback model for supervisors developed by the Center for Creative Leadership, a global provider of leadership development and research. SBI helps ensure that when you give feedback to an employee, it is done in a clear, respectful, and effective way regardless of whether it is positive or negative. Here is the model: Situation – Be specific and give your employee the when and where a certain behavior occurred so they can recall what you are referring to. For example, “Jane, yesterday when you presented you project....” Behavior – Describe the observable action, not your interpretation. For example, “Your audiovisual projector wouldn’t function correctly.” Impact – “This created a delay in the program, causing other speakers to cut their presentations short.” The feedback ends there without judgment or assumptions. Its goal is impartiality and accuracy, but it’s been proven to have a significant impact on facilitating change or reinforcing desirable behaviors.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
