This is an ongoing content series on the current EAN website. We have set it up again here so you can continue to use it (if you like.)
Q. I suggested to one of my employees that he contact the EAP for help with a performance problem. Although he initially agreed, he appears to have changed his mind, and the issue at work remains unresolved. The EAP is highly trusted, so what would be the most likely explanation?
A. There could be many reasons for the employee’s loss of motivation. It appears that your direct conversation sparked a willingness to act, but it is also possible that he agreed in the moment just to please you and to avoid any deeper confrontation—especially if he was feeling exposed or uncomfortable with a personal problem he did not want discovered. Once the meeting ends, the motivation to follow through often fades even if it was sincere. Suggest that an employee make the call from your office when making a referral because the momentum of your discussion is fresh. It might feel awkward, but improves the chances of follow-through. It also reduces the risk of an employee’s problems getting worse, which could be costly. This phone-now approach helps overcome second thoughts, and it also helps the employee accept that using the EAP is a strength, not a weakness or cause for shame.
Q. I sense my employee has relapsed after treatment for an alcohol use disorder. I suspect it because I have gut instincts about it. This is based on my long history with him, catching him drinking, and past confrontations. How do I proceed?
A. The short answer is stay steady, neutral, and focused on workplace impact. Given your knowledge of the relapse and your history with this employee, it’s critical to take a professional approach with boundaries in mind. Even if your instincts are correct, focus only on what is verifiable. Do not confront the employee about the relapse directly unless it has impacted performance or behavior, or violated a workplace policy. Instead, contact your EAP and explain the situation. Even without an active release form, the EA professional can advise you in general terms about how to proceed. If the relapse has affected workplace conduct or performance, document those changes and address them. Discuss your observations. The EA professional will help you articulate what is quantifiable for documentation. Avoid personal commentary or raising past grievances with your employee. Let the EAP and company policies guide your next steps.
Q. I have an employee who is reportedly sabotaging others—like withholding key info, giving vague instructions, or taking credit for others’ work. I haven’t seen these behaviors personally, so how can I say something and get the benefits of confrontation without being accusatory?
A. When you haven’t personally observed the behavior, the key is to address the impact without framing it as an accusation. Focus on what you do know—specific outcomes or disruptions. Use neutral, factual language to open the conversation. For example: “I’ve heard of a few situations where teammates weren’t given complete information, and it created delays. Can you help me understand what happened?” Notice how this approach keeps your tone professional and curious rather than confrontational. Your goal is to raise awareness and give the employee a chance to explain, correct, or clarify. At the same time, take the opportunity to reinforce clear expectations around communication, collaboration, and accountability with the entire team. This is important. If the pattern continues, escalate appropriately by involving HR in guiding your next steps or initiating a performance improvement process. This early intervention approach with its focus on outcomes, not accusations, involves communicating in a concerned tone that may prevent the behavior from continuing.
Q. I am concerned about two people in our office distracting others and interfering with productivity because of their romantic relationship. How do I handle this with tact?
A. Handling this matter is important, and as you indicate, it must be done with respect and sensitivity. Your goal is to protect workplace productivity while maintaining the dignity of the couple and gaining their cooperation. Stay professional. Begin by meeting with the two employees and reminding them how important it is to maintain a professional environment—this means keeping their personal relationship separate from work. This is not something you need to negotiate, but your approach should still foster cooperation and align with the needs of the office. You’re still the supervisor, and while the issue is sensitive, it’s ultimately about behavior and conduct. Be clear in communicating boundaries and defining what you consider acceptable workplace behavior. Talk with them about ways to reduce the impact of their relationship on others in the office. After the meeting, continue to monitor their behavior, simply noting whether it stays appropriate and in line with your expectations.
Q. My employee asked to borrow $500. I did not embarrass him or act shocked, but I was. I referred him to the EAP, but I also felt fearful about whatever the crisis was that would lead him to ask me for money. Knowing he was facing something horrendous almost made me give it to him.
A. You made the right decision. Unfortunately, when an employee turns to their supervisor for a loan, it often means they’ve run out of others to turn to—family, friends, or even payday lenders. Merely asking signals a serious financial issue and is almost always related to another problem that is worse. This could be a substance use disorder, gambling, or threats from another lender to whom the employee owes money. The $500 is also likely only a part of what the employee needs, and others may still be sought to help with the larger sum actually needed. A referral to the EAP, who knows how to properly assess and discover the latent problems your employee faces, is the right support that is needed in this situation. Apart from these problems, lending money risks blurring professional boundaries, complicates your leadership role, and, at worst, could pull you into the employee’s serious personal struggles in other ways.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
Q. I don’t want to diagnose personal problems despite knowing they are likely to exist. Sometimes I know the exact nature of the personal problem. How do I stay away from discussing the “diagnosis” and remain focused on correcting the behavior?
A. Supervisors sometimes wonder how to avoid discussions with employees that may border on examining underlying personal causes of problematic performance. Here’s one approach of many: No matter the performance issue, approach thecorrective interview with two central ideas: describing the problematic performance and pointing out its adverse impact. Don’t ask why the behavior is occurring. Instead, let the worker react to your concern. You might hear, “Well, aren’t you going to ask me why?” The “why” is often a segue to an explanation by the employee designed to postpone consequences or accountability. (Of course, a real workplace issue might be mentioned and an opportunity to correct it therefore exists.) However, if a personal problem is mentioned, make a referral to the employee assistance program (EAP) rather than process it. Remember, if your employee does not go to the EAP, you may still witness immediate improved performance from fear-based compliance to avoid further scrutiny or consequences. It typically will not last.
Q. Periodically, employers will phone to ask about a past employee’s job performance. I refer all callers to human resources, but what’s the harm of offering a glowing recommendation if true? I feel a bit obligated because this worker really turned around after using the EAP.
A. Talk to your HR pros. Providing a job reference for a former employee carries risks, even when the reference is positive. Organizations should be aware that any reference, regardless of its nature, can potentially lead to legal or professional complications. One possible problem could be a claim of discrimination if not all former employees receive an equally positive reference. Even when employees are given a good reference, your conversation with a prospective employer may be misinterpreted or you may not be equally enthusiastic with all aspects of a past employee’s performance. This could be misinterpreted as problematic by the caller. Talk to human resources for guidance or follow the existing policy. Sometimes, supervisors give positive references, but they are not privy to everything in the employee’s employment history. Some of it could be problematic. Phone calls of the type you describe aren’t usually recorded or documented. This could result in misinterpretations, with negative comments falsely attributed to you.
Q. What is the “Great Detachment”? I saw this referenced in a news article recently and how only 18%of employees love their jobs and the rest are unmotivated, looking to quit, or simply feeling stuck and “going through the motions.” What can supervisors do, and how can the EAP help?
A. The “Great Detachment” is a workplace trend where employees are emotionally disconnecting from their jobs (Gallup 2024). Only about 18% of employees are engaged, which means feeling committed to the job and employer; being enthusiastic and often doing more than expected; finding the job meaningful and fulfilling; and feeling loyal to the employer’s mission, consistently acting and speaking positively about the company. Consult with your EAP about the unique aspects of your work unit and what more you can do individually and collectively to connect with staff. Realize that young workers, frontline staff, and remote staff are more at risk for disengagement. Check in with your employees one on one and have mini five-minute meetings to discuss needs, goals, and how work can be more enjoyable. The relationship with their supervisor reportedly is one of the most often cited reasons employees find more meaning in their jobs, thereby increasing their loyalty to the employer, according to Marcus Buckingham, author of Love and Work: How to Find What You Love. Source:https://www.gallup.com/workplace/653711/great-detachment-why-employees-feel-stuck.aspx
Q. What are the main ways that supervisors can use the EAP for themselves personally as a confidential source of support?
A. Supervisors can use the EAP in several ways—some highly effective yet often overlooked. Consider these ways of leveraging the EAP for yourself: 1)seek confidential counseling for one’s own personal needs; 2) consult on improving communication with upper management; 3) learn stress management tips; 4) seek guidance on approaching employees prior to conducting corrective interviews and participating in constructive confrontation; 5) consult on handling specific situations involving difficult employees and reducing risk in managing problematic employee behaviors; 6) consult on and gain expert advice on handling difficult employee situations, performance issues, and workplace conflicts; and 7) get help with pre-referral planning, post-referral communication, and post-discharge follow-up of formally referred employees.
Q. Although employees do self-refer to the EAP, many believe that a formal referral to the company EAP is a punishment. What explains this persistent dynamic? I think it is partly stigma, but is there anything supervisors can do to minimize it?
A. EAPs are voluntary programs with staff who know how to quickly put a client at ease and establish a helping relationship that facilitates personal disclosure. Most employees, even those who are formally referred and resistant at first, quickly realize that the program is a safe and inviting experience. Stigma attached to or fear of the program usually dissipates at this point. Troubled employees who have experienced conflict with supervisors for lengthy periods of time may naturally feel that a referral is a punitive step. Regularly promoting the program in staff meetings, making assurances about confidentiality, and making literature available within the work unit are crucial strategies for increasing familiarity, reducing stigma, and normalizing the services of the program. Work units where the EAP is never mentioned, and its literature is out of sight may experience more stigma and fear that the program is not confidential.
FrontLineSupervisor is for general informational purposes only and is not intended to be specific guidance for any particular supervisor or human resource management concern. For specific guidance on handling individual employee problems, consult with your EA professional. ©2025 DFA Publishing & Consulting, LLC. Gender use in Frontline Supervisor content is strictly random.
