This is an ongoing content series on the current EAN website. We have set it up again here so you can continue to use it (if you like.)
Q. Is it appropriate for a supervisor to raise mental health issues with employees, such as pointing out that an employee “looks stressed out”? This might prompt employees to consider using the EAP.
A. Although it is not uncommon for a manager to use phrases such as “you look a little stressed out,” those might be misinterpreted by your employee. So, why not consider a different question with a business purpose, such as “you appear rushed and are fumbling with your work. Is there something I can do to help? Is everything all right?” This can lead the employee to mention something personal, in which case you can respond by recommending the EAP as a resource. Mental health in the workplace has received much attention in business news recently. This does not mean that supervisors should probe mental health issues or become diagnosticians. Continue to focus on performance issues that don’t resolve. You will ultimately refer employees with personal problems earlier and more often.
Q. My employee made a group of coworkers aware of communication problems she was having with her husband. One employee gave her the name and phone of a marriage counselor. I was a little uncomfortable with this process. Should I have discouraged this exchange and recommended the EAP instead?
A. It is not unusual for employees to recommend resources to each other for dealing with problems, but the EAP would have been a better recommendation. EAPs don’t do marital counseling per se because this is treatment/therapy, but they do start with an assessment that is free and unbiased. The goal of this assessment is to determine precisely the nature of the problem the employee is experiencing. Imagine the broad spectrum of issues that might exist in any situation like this one. Is this simply about communication problems or something more? Financial problems, drug and alcohol issues or other addictions, sexual issues, depression, or even an extramarital affair might be characterized in a group setting as “communication problems.” Indeed, most therapists discover deeper and more maladaptive concerns within a couple once therapy begins. Go ahead and recommend the EAP, even now. It is possible that she did not follow through with her friend’s recommendation. Share with her the nature of what a free and professional assessment can accomplish.
Q. What are the costs of misconduct in the workplace, and what are the dominant behaviors constituting misconduct?
A. There are many areas of misconduct, but the three that drive costs are discrimination, sexual harassment, and bullying. A recent study found that the cost of workplace misconduct nationally is about$20.2 billion per year. When an employee leaves an organization because of these behaviors, the cost to hire a new worker averages $4126. And that is a low average, because this cost estimator from the Society of Human Resource Management is several years old and does not include many indirect costs. The latest report on misconduct in the workplace can be found atwww.vaultplatform.com/the-trust-gap (a short form appears before you can download the 16-page document). Among the findings, of women who have experienced sexual harassment, only one in five reports it despite today’s education, policies, and legal remedies. Fear of retaliation and impact on one’s career still drive the hesitancy to report victimization.
Q. Over the years, I have noticed that the most difficult and troubled employees also offer the most resistance to supervisor referral to the EAP. A few have actually agreed to go to counseling, but not to the EAP. Why is it important to not accept the employee’s alternative source of help?
A. The EAP plays a key role in reducing risk to organizations regarding formal referrals. It is not unusual for difficult employees to resist referral and offer their own “solution” at a corrective interview. However, serious risks may continue without EAP involvement. These risks aren’t dispelled even if the employee goes to the same source of help the EAP would have recommended. Follow-up allows the EAP to gauge progress or lack thereof, identify waning motivation to continue in treatment, re-motivate the worker to cooperate with the provider’s recommendation, identify additional help, or monitor post-treatment recommendations crucial to success. Imagine an employee with an intermittent explosive disorder, who is prone to violence, agreeing to get help but not going through the EAP. Accepting help is a good thing in such a case, but the risks mentioned above certainly remain.
Q. I have always struggled with being assertive. As anew supervisor, I can imagine some problems this might cause. Are there any problems outside my awareness that I should be careful to avoid?
A. Supervisors who struggle with assertiveness often fear saying no. Rather than state unequivocally to their employees that something won’t happen or can’t happen, and risk disappointment or anger, they may give the impression that there is hope or that they will “look into it.” Whether it is about a pay raise or some other question, they give employees the expectation of an affirmative outcome. For the supervisor, the goal at the time is avoiding anger or conflict with workers. Their strategy is to “wait and see” with a middle-of-the-road approach. Later, when the thing hoped for does not materialize, anger and accusations of broken promises occur. Trust is lost among staff. Unassertive supervisors often know they are setting themselves up for these conflicts, but the need to avoid conflict in the moment overrides their better judgment at the time. If you struggle with this level of assertiveness, contact the EAP.
Q. How do I document an attitude problem so there is no uncertainty later about what I mean? What really bothers me most is the cynicism, eye rolling, and sighing.
A. Behaviors such as rolling one’s eyes, sighing, and huffing may be triggering but are difficult to document. The key is discovering what is articulable and quantifiable and has an adverse impact. Do words like arrogant, aggressive, cynical, critical, indifferent, or rude describe your employee’s attitude? If arrogance is descriptive, documentation might be: “John often demonstrates an exaggerated sense of his importance or abilities. For example, on (date, time) he remarked that ‘everyone in the office is too lazy to learn the combination to the file cabinet,’ so they ‘rely on him’ to open it in the morning. Such a statement has a negative effect on office morale and creates conflict.” (Note how this example does not label the employee as “arrogant.” You are using the definition of it followed by an example. This is more effective.) Formulate attitude documentation with 1) behavior associated with the attitude, 2) a description of what was said or what happened, and 3)its adverse impact. (Hint: The EAP can offer general guidance on and a dictionary may provide descriptive words you’re searching for.)
Q. What reason do supervisors give for why they did not refer a troubled employee to the EAP following a tragic incident in the workplace where there were signs and symptoms clearly present?
A. Numerous tragedies that occur in the workplace have been associated with troubled employees, including accidental death, workplace violence, and property damage, among others. These incidents may have been prevented if the worker was referred to the EAP earlier. There are two dominant reasons for not having referred such employees early on. One is the supervisor’s belief that no serious problem existed because evidence of behavior or performance problems was intermittent. If periods of normalcy and satisfactory performance existed, it may have appeared that the employee’s problems were personally manageable, and the unease associated with a formal EAP referral wasn’t necessary. The other reason is that the employee’s awareness of their problem and what to do about it appeared convincing enough to the supervisor to dismiss the idea of a formal referral. If a supervisor periodically wonders if a referral to the EAP is necessary for an employee, contacting the EAP for a consult is the prudent action.
Q. I am a new supervisor. What supervisory skills can the EAP best help me develop if I get into situations or experience problems I can’t manage properly?
A. There are many skills a supervisor needs in order to be effective. Sometimes it is difficult to identify the specific skill that is lacking in order to address a particular problem. This is where the EAP might help. For example, if morale in your work unit is an issue, and you don’t see it improving, is it because you lack effective communication skills? Are interpersonal skills the problem? Could you improve your conflict resolution skills? Then again, is it possible the morale problem is mostly out of your control? Use the EAP to help you troubleshoot issues you experience on the job, particularly interpersonal, intrapersonal, and soft-skill-related issues. The EAP may help you with personal issues, refer you to effective skill development resources, or even send you back to your supervisor or the organization for coaching or mentorship, but with clarification of your needs.
Q. What is the best way to develop loyalty among staff? I have respect from employees, and I respect them. I feel that, but loyalty is something more. How is it defined, and how do I get it?
A. A good way to look at loyalty versus respect is to see that loyalty is a layer of dedication to your leadership that has been built on respect overtime. Your employees may respect your position, authority, skills, and abilities, but whether they go the extra mile is a question associated with loyalty. Loyalty is earned by respecting your employees over time and is nurtured by understanding the needs of each of your employees and what they need to be happy, healthy, and productive. Loyalty is the dividend of investing yourself in the relationship you have with each of your employees. Loyalty is currency to get things done. When your employees respect you as a leader, they may deliver 100%. When they are loyal, they’ll reach even further.
Q. Is bickering a problem I should refer to the EAP?I have a few employees in our small office, and they seem to get on each other’s nerves quite a bit. They don’t complain about it, and they are great performers. Personally, however, I don’t like the tension.
A. Strain among employees in close quarters is probably not something you are going to be able to entirely eliminate. It is the nature of relationships, even good ones, to experience conflict, especially in tight quarters. As you observe, performance appears unaffected. However, not all small conflicts are the same. You may want to delve deeper just to ensure something small won’t later turn into something serious or risky to the workplace. For example, is the bickering or tension caused by inequity or unfairness? Are work roles not balanced well? Does one of your employees believe they have a better future than another? Inquire about these or similar issues periodically so you understand what may be underlying the conflicts beyond the apparent issues they involve.